New Moon alt ending a minute can ruin lives
by JessGranger95
Summary: What if Bella had been too late, and the clock tower scene had been different. But would the loss finnish there? T because I'm scared of the system! Review please, after all I do write for you.
1. Chapter 1

**Twilights not mine and it never will be.**

**Seem to have a weird obsession with New Moon at the mo, o well it is my favourite. This is my 2****nd**** FF and most common advice from the first was to make it longer, so here goes.**

Chapter 1 So close

Bella POV

As I broke free from the crowd I saw him, I saw his beautiful face, his bare muscular chest and my favourite jumper in a heap next to him. It was going to be fine, in just a few seconds I was going to get to him and pull him into the shadows, and we were going to be safe. My pace slowed as I imagined our embrace, he didn't love me anymore but surely he'd hug me. But then my vision disappeared as my view of Edward did. Suddenly a pair of hands was wrenching him out of my sight and into a dark secluded alley. Those few seconds I had estimated my journey to take were more painful than anything I had ever felt before, even worse than the hole in my chest caused by the absence of him. Because he had at least still been somewhere, right now I knew he was gone. But then a second shadow slid into the alley, Alice. There was no way tiny Alice could possibly fight off the unstoppable monsters Edward had warned me about. I didn't blame her, I too fully intended to run into that alley and risk my life for undoubtedly the most beautiful being in the universe. But I knew that by the time I got there the fight would be over and I would be alone.

Edward POV

I didn't fight against them; this was after all the point of my plan. There was one detail I hadn't planned on though. I had expected Alice to come, she's too fierce a friend to let me go, but I didn't expect the friend she brought too. Especially seen as I thought she was dead. But she was alive, and she had come to save me, this made me happier than I had been in months. That happiness soon disappeared though, I was going to die now, fair enough, but Alice was fighting too, and that left my Bella all alone in a city full of vampires. O god. "Alice how could you bring her" I snarled as she slipped beside me in the alley to face our opponents and she squeezed my arm. 'What could I do?' she thought 'she'd never have let me leave her behind, and you wouldn't have believed me'. She was right, but I still didn't forgive her. "Then why is she racing over here, only to find us both dead and herself alone in a city full of vampires?" That wasn't my main concern though, I knew it was selfish but the thought of there being a Bella without me was excruciating. I had left her but part of me knew I'd go back, I'd never be able to go back to her now. Alice's thoughts were so pained that they pulled me out of my thoughts, so it wasn't just me that was suffering. 'I couldn't leave you Edward, I'm so sorry but I couldn't. I gave her my phone, Jasper will ring later. She'll be fine. I turned to the men opposite us, they were trying to understand what we were talking about but it was difficult when you could only hear one side of a conversation. But that was good, the less they knew about Bella the safer she was. "Let's make this quick boys", and I stepped in front of Alice," go now, grab Bella and leave" I whispered behind me. Alice just shook her head. 'Jasper's going to kill me' she thought. I grimaced, he won't get the chance.

**Better?? Let me know. Happy to take suggestions, I write for you. X Jess**


	2. Chapter 2

**Don't own twilight or the beautiful creature it created, those of you thinking about Jacob right now should be shot. TEAM EDWARD FOR LIFE.**

Chapter 2 Contact

Just a jumper. That was all that remained of the man I loved. I was sat on the fountain which had been surrounded by herds of red caped Italians only a few hours ago. Now it was dead, like my soul. The jumper still smelled of him and I never wanted to forget that smell, so I kept the jumper wrapped around my neck. The last thing of his I owned. Bzzzzz Bzzzzzzz Bzzzzzz, why would my pocket be vibrating?? I pulled Alice's phone out and Jasper's name flashed up on the screen.

What could do you say to a man who's just lost the love of his life but he doesn't know it?? Problem is you can't take too long to think about it, so you just blurt something out.

"Errr hey Jasper" Not at all obvious that something's wrong Bella O o

"Bella? Where's Alice, can you put her on?"

"No" It sounded stupid but it was the truth, there was no way Alice could talk to Jasper.

"Where is Alice Bella, what happened?" His voice was hard and cold, it frightened me.

I couldn't pretend any more, something was wrong and he needed to know.

"We were too late, they got him. But she, she, she tried to save him."

Jasper didn't answer me.

"Jasper???"

I had to pull the phone away from my ear because all that followed my plea was the smashing of what I expected to be Esme's furniture. The smashing lasted four minutes, he must have run out of furniture when I finally heard his voice again.

"You still there Bella?"

"Yes"

"I'm sorry about that" He sounded ashamed, but I understood.

"Don't worry about it Jasper, it's nice to know that someone else is feeling as much pain as I am."

"I'm coming to get you Bella, just be careful and stay out of sight. I'll meet you at the front gate."

I wanted to tell him not to bother but right now I wanted nothing more than be around the people who reminded me of him more than anything. The people I loved, and still wanted to join. I shut the phone and made my way to the front gates, I didn't know where they were but I wanted to get as far from the alley as I could. My life ended in that alley and I never intended to see it again. From the gate you could see miles or rural Italy, when I finally got there the sun was just setting. It would have been the second most beautiful thing I'd ever seen but nothing would ever be beautiful to me again. The world had lost all its beauty when it lost him.

**It can only get worse. I right for you, the few of you there are so tell me what you need to happen because I'm certainly no Edward. Jess x**


	3. Chapter 3

**I own nothing in this world, including Twilight. **

Chapter 3 Alone together

Jasper POV

I was still fuming with anger when I burst into the living room, ripping the door off its hinges as I passed.

"I'm going to Italy to get Bella, I don't know if you want to come but I'll be gone in 5 minutes"

Esme was worried, Esme was always worried. Rosalie hadn't even looked my way; she had already guessed why I was leaving in part. She assumed Alice's rescue attempt had failed. She just sat in the corner of the room as she had for 2 days, unable to even say goodbye she was so consumed with guilt. I had forgiven her for putting my brother on the line but she had killed Alice, and it was taking every morsel of strength in me not to return the favour. Esme burst into tears.

"They killed him didn't they?" she clung to Carlisle who looked confused. "O Edward"

"Why are you going to Italy?" Carlisle had twigged on. "Can't Alice bring Bella back alone?"

Rosalie's head snapped towards me.

"Jasper? She. . . Alice?"

I looked away from her pleading eyes.

"Nooooo. I'm so sorry." She grabbed my arm, desperate for me to forgive her, to reassure her that this wasn't her fault. But this was all Rosalie's fault, her and her selfish ways had destroyed our family, but most importantly she'd destroyed Alice.

I grabbed Rosalie's arm, I think she thought that it symbolised forgiveness because she smiled at me. She was wrong. I wrenched her arm so hard it slammed into the wall behind me, she would be fine, an injury like that would leave no lasting damage to a vampire. Hopefully that made her realise I was just a tiny bit mad.

When I got into the garage I saw the bright lights of Carlisle's Mercedes flash on. I came to the driver's side and peered into the car, Esme was in the back and Carlisle in the passenger's side. I was glad I was driving; it provided some sort of a distraction. Unsurprisingly Emmett and Rosalie were nowhere to be found. You tear someone's arm off and you're suddenly not friends anymore. I'll remember that for future references.

The drive to the airport was short but the plane journey was agonizingly long, city after city flickered away below with great expanses of lonely water that only reminded me of my loss.

When we finally got to Volterra I could feel Bella immediately, she was crushed and I was worried she was permanently damaged. The last time I spoke to Alice she told me what Charlie had said about Bella after we left, our departure had impacted her more than Edward had believed, he truly underestimated her love for him. I had felt that love and tried to warn him, Edward is not to blame though, he tried everything he could and even ended up dying for her.

Bella POV

I heard the screech of overheated tyres beside me and looked up to find Carlisle's black Mercedes. Soon I would be home, I couldn't grieve properly here, and every second I was reminded that everything I had had been lost in this city. A city full of what I was still desperate to become. Vampirazation is the only fool proof way of me seeing Edward again, and a lifetime seemed too long without throwing in the afterlife.

But it wasn't just Jasper in the sleek black sports car.

"You didn't all have to come you know, I know how difficult this must be"

I could see how difficult it was too. Jasper and Carlisle were both tense with anger, I'd never seen Carlisle like this and it frightened me. It made sense though he was always so worried about his family and was suffering the loss of two of his coven. I had known Jasper would be angry but I was scared they would both lose it and draw attention to us, I was quite sure the Volturi would have no problem with reuniting us with Alice and Edward. It was Esme however that ripped my soul apart. Alice and Edward had not been her children, but she had loved them as her own and that was obvious now. She trembled from the tears she couldn't leak and her shoulders were hunched and twisted from the pain breathing gave her. Right now she wasn't a vampire, she was a mother. Carlisle noticed me watching Esme and flitted to her side, supporting her weight on his side. He somehow managed to smile at me

"Yes its difficult being here Bella, difficult not to get justice for what has happened. But it would have been impossible to leave you here."

I noted then that Rosalie and Emmett were nowhere to be seen. I made my way to Esme and Carlisle, Jasper was leaning on the hood of the car. As soon as I got to her Esme transferred her weight onto me, clinging to my shoulders and heaving with every breath. Esme was broken and it was my fault. What had I done?

"We should leave now"

Jasper was very abrupt but I understood, he was about at his limit and that was to be respected. We all climbed into the car, me and Esme in the back silent in our sadness. Jasper and Carlisle in the front, murmuring to each other, Carlisle seemed concerned. I could feel everything fading away, the pain, the loss, and my guilt. Then it was black.

**Raunchy I know but what can you do? Everybody's worried this is a Bella/Jasper FF but never fear I don't roll that way. Should the loss end now or shall we kick it up a notch???**

**Your crappy FF writer Jess x **


	4. Chapter 4

**Twilights not mine**

Chapter 4 Decision Time

When I woke up the light disoriented me. Where was I, a hotel? But when I hauled myself onto my elbows and saw the big bay window I knew I was somewhere better. The comfortable black sofa was right in front of the window and overlooked the forest below. The view was beautiful, just like him. I got up from the sofa, facing the endless rows of music, and crept over the luxurious carpet. There was no noise from below but they couldn't be asleep, I idly wondered who had put me up here.

When I got to the landing I went straight past the beautiful and intricate paintings along the wall, they meant nothing without him behind me telling me their story. I got to the top of the stairs which overlooked the lower house; they were all assembled silently around the living room, even Rosalie. They all stared at me, but with different expressions, some with sorrow, some with guilt, and some with hopelessness. I felt very uncomfortable under their glares and Jasper must have sensed this as he looked away, instead glaring at Rosalie, he would never forgive her would he? I made my way slowly down the stairs to my family; there was a spare seat beside Esme where she sat on the biggest sofa with Carlisle. As I approached she smiled and moved her hand from the space as if she'd been saving it for me. It was very quiet for some time, what could be said? The world seemed empty, and nothingness was difficult to make conversation about. But then the last thing that meant anything to me crept into my mind, Charlie and Rene.

"Charlie"

It wasn't a question, just a statement. I would be quite happy to never see him again, but I couldn't make any decisions right now, so instead I looked to the wisest person I knew.

"Carlisle?"

He straightened up and thought

"It would seem you have two paths in front of you Bella, you could leave here and pretend as if nothing had happened. Live your life with Charlie and be a normal human"

He paused and looked around the room; they had obviously been talking about my second option earlier.

"Or you could join us. We would tell Charlie you, Alice and Edward had been in some kind of accident and ... been unable to return"

I knew which option I wanted to take, but that didn't mean it was the right one. This could be my only chance of becoming a vampire, and seeing Edward again, but it would mean never seeing my mother and father again.

Carlisle must have seen my mental struggle.

"You don't need to decide right now Bella, this is a big decision and we understand that"

But I loved these people, not just because they were my true loves family, or because they could make me a monster. I loved these people because they were my family, and they were amazing people. I didn't need time.

"Yes"

I took Esme's hand.

"I want to join you"

Carlisle looked concerned, he wasn't the only one. Rosalie flew onto her feet, sprinting at me. She stopped, inches away and opened her mouth.

"You have no idea what you're doing"

Then with a smash it was Jasper in front of me. He turned to the crumpled Rosalie

"Yea well we're all a bit sick of your opinion right now Rose, especially when it seems to ruin so many lives"

"Jasper!"

I wasn't surprised to see Carlisle helping Rosalie up, he was a forgiving creature. He was furious with Jasper for his attitude.

"This isn't Rosalie's fault"

Jasper tried to argue but Carlisle growled at him. My eyes almost popped out of my skull.

"I understand this is hard for you, but you can't let it rule your emotions. I will not tolerate violence in my home"

Carlisle was right, this wasn't Rosalie's fault. If an imprint of anybodies body should be indented into the wall it should be mine. Then at least it would be the end.

He turned to me now, his face suddenly soft. I never understood how he could do that, not that I wanted Carlisle to growl at me.

"I don't think you should make this decision quickly Bella, this is your family you'd be leaving."

"You are my family. I had my world torn apart yesterday, my priorities have changed and human things don't seem to matter to me anymore. I want to be a vampire"

Carlisle still looked unsure

"You're not taking this seriously Bella. A week, that's when I will consider making you one of us"

Then he took my hands

"Think about this Bella"

Then he told me they needed to hunt, that they had waited just to me and check I was ok. As I saw them disappear into the mass of tree's I went upstairs to explore my loves possessions. After all he'd been in my room much more than I'd been in his, and it smelt exactly like him.

**Jasper certainly has some issues, but how big will they get. Right now I seem to be writing for one or two people, but if your screaming at your screen NNNNOOOOO your writing for me then review because I want to know who I'm writing for. Jess x**


	5. Chapter 5 reasons

**Disclaimer: Blah blah blah twilight blah blah blah not mine blah blah blah, blah**

Chapter 5 reasons

When I woke in the morning to the beautiful room there was more noise than the morning before. Concerned whispers floated up the stairs into my consciousness, I didn't think I could live through another drama. That didn't mean I wasn't worried though, tip-toeing to the landing in an attempt to stay unnoticed. Then I remembered who was downstairs and sighed at my own stupidity, you fool Bella. They all seemed to be there when I leaned over the banister, except Jasper. That was weird, he'd barely seemed to move at all over the last few days, a statue incarcerated in his pain. I'd already felt pain like this though, when Edward left it wasn't like he'd died though, I had felt part of me die.

Carlisle was watching me as I came down the stairs, he had been right yesterday. When I'd had some time to think the list that had consisted of only Rene and Charlie had vastly increased. My biggest concern was Jacob. He'd been there for me when I had been a statue, carefully chipping away at my hard exterior. He was my sun; I could do with a sun now. I couldn't be with Jacob if I was a vampire though; it just wasn't ethical with his werewolf state. Carlisle pulled me out of my worries with his own soft concerns.

"Bella maybe you should eat something, it's been two days"

He was right, I hadn't eaten anything since the day ... But I didn't know if I could eat yet, my body was in such a state of shock I expected it to reject anything I offered it.

"I'm not really asking if you want to eat Bella, I'm telling you there is food in the kitchen. And you have to eat it. Esme stocked up the fridge last night, you are human after all."

Human. It didn't seem like I had a lot of choice in the matter; and I was sure it wasn't the best idea to anger the man who would hopefully change me.

I sighed

"The fridge"

Esme smiled at me in a way that made your insides melt, as well as your will. She took my hand.

"Come on, I'll show you"

Carlisle nodded at her; I assume they had decided not to leave me alone during my absence. Absence, that reminded me.

"Where's Jasper"

From the look on her face this was the last question she wanted to answer. She looked deep in thought, most likely deciding if it would be best to lie to me. This was Esme though, surely she wouldn't lie. True to form I saw her face crumple in surrender, she looked at the floor, worried.

"Jasper left"

This simple sentence seemed to cause her great pain. Already losing ... children recently this must have been a painful blow. To the mother of the coven it must seem like her family was falling apart.

"He'll be back though"

She didn't believe this though, and neither did I. What reason did he have to stay; Alice had told me once that Jasper would follow her anywhere, now he was just a lost sheep without a cause.

I nodded; sure that Esme knew what I was thinking. How could this be happening to a group of such good people?

When we finally go to the kitchen she hauled open the huge mirrored fridge revealing shelf after shelf of cartons, vegetables, packets and any other source of food you could think of.

"What would you like?"

"Esme there's more food here than I eat in a year"

"People eat more when grieving you know Bella. Fry up?"

The Cullen's generosity really did know no boundaries. Or what was left of the Cullen's. I wondered how Rosalie had felt about this; she didn't like me so I couldn't imagine she liked anything Carlisle and Esme did for me.

"Is there no cereal"

Esme seemed disappointed at me choosing something so simple from the wide selection, probably hoping to do something with her hands. She nodded though and reached into a cupboard which squeaked as she opened it, probably never been used before.

We sat in silence as I ate, the whole family staring at me. Well Emmett was just staring at the food with a look of disgust, this amused Carlisle greatly. When I was finally finished I rested the bowl on the antique glass table and looked at Carlisle. He misunderstood my glance asking

"Would you like something else?"

Esme half got up in her seat.

"No, I was wondering if ... I might go see Jacob"

Carlisle looked at Esme, who shrugged. O yea, they didn't know about Jacob, or about him being a werewolf. It was probably best to leave that out.

"He fixed me"

I saw their faces crumple as understanding sunk in.

"When you left"

Carlisle nodded; he obviously didn't want to know more. Whether out of his own guilt or an attempt to spare my feeling I didn't know, but I was grateful not to have to explain.

As I dialled the number I had once depended on I was nervous, I'd abandoned him, for someone who had abandoned me- this was going to be awkward.

It rung twice then a familiar husky voice answered the phone

"Hello?"

"Jake"

I breathed back.

Then his voice changed, now it was full of anxiety, worry and desperation.

"Where are you?"

I paused

"I'm at the Cullen's"

"O"

I felt my eyes fill with tears, he hated me.

"I thought maybe I could come see you later"

Now his voice was arrogant, he must be upset.

"Are you sure you're allowed to see me?"

"What?"

"Or did you decide not to tell him about me"

I broke then, the tears I'd be trying so hard to hold back escaping.

"Bells?"

When I didn't answer he got hysterical

"Bells I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make you cry. I understand you know, and I don't blame you for choosing him"

I managed to choke out

"He's not here Jake"

He sighed

"He left again? That scumbag, he doesn't deserve you Bella"

"No. We were too late"

He didn't say anything, what could he say? I knew he was glad but he'd rather die than tell me that. But he knew he had to say something.

"You free now?"


	6. Chapter 6

**Sorry I didn't write anything at the end of that last chapter guys, I was literally in tears. I know, soppy and ridiculous but that's just me. O ye twilights not mine, like that big thing in the sky.**

Chapter 6

It was quiet for a long time, him just holding my hand on the cold beach as we listened to the waves. Even though I was left to wrestle with my mind by the silence, I felt better than I had in Edward's room. Jacob seemed better too, even though I had picked Edward he knew that it was him I wanted to talk to now, and that seemed enough to him. Then I was conscious of his gaze, watching my face with an intensity that made me uncomfortable. I quickly looked at him and back to the beach. Why did he have to ruin a perfect moment like this, he had never been able to be just friends together and right now that was what I needed.

"I'm sorry"

He didn't sound sorry, in fact he sounded happy, that must have been nice.

"What are you thinking Jacob?

He seemed embarrassed by my question, that couldn't be good.

"Just ... about us"

I winced at the term

"Us."

I tried to decipher any hidden meaning he could be implying.

"Jacob and Bella"

Because that's what he was saying. I had to admit it sounded nice, comfortable and easy- it was so tempting. Carlisle was right, there were definitely two paths, and a choice much harder than I expected. I thought about the 'us' path; we would be like Sam and Emily, completely effortless, and he could give me so much. I saw me then, huge and glowing. Jacob could give me children, he could give me a normal life and despite my weak feelings for him right now I knew he loved me, unconditionally. But was that fair on him? Sure he wanted it, badly, but that didn't make it right. That was the easy option, and they were the ones you regretted when it was too late.

"Why are you still here Jacob?"

That didn't seem enough, I knew what he'd say to that and it wasn't what I was looking for.

"No, I mean ... why do you still care? I left you, chose him over you, but you're still here to pick up the pieces."

He thought about his answer, he looked as if there was so much he wanted to say, but little that I would accept. His eyebrows creased as he decided the exact words.

"Not caring has never been an option"

I half rolled my eyes and he interrupted with an explanation.

"No, I'm not being corny. I just can't not care about you Bella, no matter how many times you break my heart I still want to be there. Because I love your pieces, just like I love-"

"No. Don't you dare say that Jacob Black. How do you think forcing your feeling on me will make things better?"

Then his expression changed and he looked suspicious.

"Why are you here then Bella?"

I have to make a choice now Jake and I don't know what to do. You clear my head, and despite your annoyingness I actually like you.

"What kind of choice are we talking about?"

I wasn't going to tell him details, that would be suicidal. But he should at least be able to fight his side, right?

"This could be the last time you see me Jacob"

He squinted his eyes, desperate to find the cause and fix this error. He grabbed my hand so I couldn't escape, searched the beach as if expecting a sudden invasion.

"Why would you leave?"

I shook my head

"I never said I was leaving Jake"

Then he was on his feet, after wrenching his hand from mine.

"You don't want to be around me"

It wasn't a question. I tried to tell him that wasn't true but he cut me off.

"You came here to break my heart, again?"

He cried the words and he began to shake as he lost control. I was destroying my best friend, just like I destroyed everything. Now I was on my feet, trying to get close to him, but every time he stepped away. It was as if being close to me burned his skin. He hated me now, and as much as it hurt I knew it was a good thing. Him being near me just prolonged the pain, because he loved me, but to me he was just a friend.

I left him there on the beach shaking, I couldn't make it better now and I knew that. I'd just blown the 'us' path, I'd probably never see my friend again and we'd never have that future I'd imagined. But to be honest I was kind of relieved. The idea of doing anything constructive with my life seemed impossible, because I was damaged goods, and my life wasn't ever going to be constructive again.


	7. Chapter 7

**Forgot to leave a note again, sorry guys I'm the worst I know. Will remember this time, swear.**

Chapter 7

When I got through the door I made my way straight to his room but apparently it wasn't going to be that easy.

"Bella?"

Carlisle seemed unsuspicious but I still had to be careful, the last thing I wanted was to 'talk about my feelings'. I was aware of the tears on my face then, my puffy eyes and crinkled forehead. I quickly wiped my face on my shoulder, not that it would help much.

"Errr, yes"

"How did it go?"

"Fine"

I really just wanted to go upstairs and be alone in his room. Then I heard the rush of air and a hand was on my shoulder.

"What I should have said was, do you want to talk about it?"

Hadn't this been exactly what I'd sworn against a minute ago?

"No, I just want to be alone"

It wasn't really a want though, I needed to be alone. I just wanted to be alone for god sakes.

He shook his head once though, like you would to a naughty child. Not being able to shout at the helpless creature but still feeling anger at its mistakes.

"You've been here almost a week Bella, and we haven't talked about anything yet. You need to talk"

"Actually Carlisle I don't need to talk. I have lost EVERYTHING, talking is not going to fix it"

Yeah I was angry, people didn't understand anything.

"You haven't lost everything Bella, it may seem like that but you have us and Jacob"

But I didn't have Jacob. My face crumpled and my eyes bled the sadness I had been trying to hide, what was I going to do?

Carlisle's face was shocked when he looked up, he really did care.

"Bella, you have to tell me what happened, I'm not a mind reader"

Mind reader, he had to say mind reader. I had another outburst, everything reminded me of him and it seemed the world wasn't willing to let me forget for a single minute.

He winced at his mistake and did something I never expected. He extended his arms around me, holding onto my shoulder blades and pulling me close to him.

"It's going to be ok Bella"

"Jacob hates me, Edwards dead, Alice is dead. I might as well be dead"

"None of this is your fault Bella, and Jacob has no reason to be angry with you. It was Edward's decision to go to Volterra, and Alice's to follow"

"But I'm still the root. Alice saw me cliff diving, and that's why Edward left for Volterra, I killed him"

But it was so much more than that

"And Jasper, he is in so much pain, and that's my fault. We all know why he left, he can't cope and being around a family of grieving people can't be easy when you feel it all"

I untangled myself from his grip and turned away from him.

"The list of things I ruin is getting longer, and being near me only makes you a more likely candidate. So yes, I want you to make me a vampire, but then I want to leave you. I don't know where I'll go, but I can't stay here"

I could see Carlisle thinking desperately, his family was falling further apart by the day. His voice had a hard edge to it when he finally answered me.

"You can't expect me to turn you if you're just going to turn your back on us"

He spit the words and they burned like acid.

"It's not like that, I'm not..."

I would have ended my sentence with 'trying to hurt you' but no matter what I did people were getting hurt.

"You need us Bella, and we need you, so why are you leaving?"

I looked everywhere around the room except him, my eyes glazed with my fresh tears.

"I don't have a specific reason; I just know I have to go"

Then he nodded, and I was surprised because I knew he was right, not that changed what I was going to do. He didn't stop there though

"That's not it though; I'm not saying leave and never come back Bella. You can have some time, but we are a family now, and we will act like it. So I'll give a cell phone, and you'll have to answer when we call, but that won't do for long. You have to come back, please"

The last word was strained and I could hear the emotion behind it. How could I stay away forever, he was right, they were my family.

My voice was shaky when I agreed with his fair compromise and he seemed satisfied. He flitted back down the stairs to another room, presumably one with Esme in, though being a vampire I expect she had heard everything. I however kept on the path to my original destination, I still felt like there were so many cupboards yet to open before I could truly understand the love of my life, and that would be one of my goals. I had realised that before our separation it had been about me, he knew everything about me, and I knew nothing about him, just another reason why he had been so superior to me.

**The story is finally going places; sorry this chapter took so long I had a maths exam on Tuesday and have two pieces of coursework in for next week. March is a bad month but I will try to update, promise. **

**Jess, writer of your FF x**


	8. Chapter 8

**Twilight belongs to Stephenie Meyer!! **

Chapter 8

Jasper POV

I knew all about the process, after all it had been my life for a long time. And now it was going to get me revenge over my love. I hadn't been back in ages but much was the same, the scent of vampire everywhere and the constant feeling of fright and self preservation.

It wasn't hard for me to find who I was looking for; she was still a big name in the south. She hadn't been expecting me though, her eyes wide with adoration as they swept over my physique.

"Jasper" she purred at me.

"Hello Maria, it's been a while hasn't it?"

She peered behind me and flashed a smile.

"Where's your entourage?"

I felt my eye twitch but kept my cool, which was important with Maria.

"At home"

I kept it short, that made it easier to stay calm.

"That's weird; I thought you were inseparable from ..."

She dramatically pretended to think, even though we both knew who she was talking about.

"Amy?"

"Alice"

My tone was bitter this time.

Her expression became inquisitive.

"She died"

There was no point icing the truth, she was dead and I had to face that.

"I'm so sorry"

I knew how she really felt though, and she was definitely not sorry.

"No you're not Maria"

She just shrugged.

"To what do I owe this great pleasure then Jasper?"

"Revenge. I owe some people some pain, and you are the queen of pain, hence my being here."

She was excited now, imagining us taking on the world again like I'd never left.

"Who?" she breathed in her seductive voice.

"The Volturi"

Her head snapped up and she was on the other side of the room. Her teeth were pulled back over her teeth and her eyes fierce.

"You came here for a suicide mission?"

"You could call it that. Maria, I'm going to Volterra with an army of newborns, whether you decide to help me or not"

She still looked incredulous, though we had often fought our way out of much tighter spots. I could remember us clawing our way through hundreds of vampires with just a handful left at our sides, sure they hadn't survived, but we had.

"I may also have an addition, one that would square up the playing field"

This caught her attention, there weren't many things that could match the Volturi, and she wanted to know what I was offering. I smiled, she was hooked now, and I could feel it.

"My brother's mate is immune to vampire gifts that work in a certain way. She is a mental shield"

I let her ponder that before I continued

"She is still human yet her gift is strong, she has great potential and is willing to join our kind. For all we know she could shield us all from their gifts. Jane, Alec, Renata, Chelsea... all useless"

"When do I get to meet her?"

She was so excited that we would have left right away if it had been possible. But we'd need more than Bella to even it up.

"Soon, but we cannot go alone. We need an army, a big one"

**This chapter was a short one; wonder how many of you saw that coming, eh??? Thanks for the reviews, keep them coming. JessCullen95 x**


	9. Chapter 9

**Got my laptop back from being repaired today, thank god. Sorry for the wait guys.**

Chapter 9

Bella POV

My I woke up I remained frozen, eyes closed and muscles rigid under my covers. My room had a familiar chill which I didn't dare to remember, and I knew someone was watching. I didn't want to open my eyes and face the source of this nightmare, because I knew there was no way Edward could be here, I'd seen to that. I stayed frozen for minutes; until finally I cracked open my eyelid a fraction. An unfamiliar chuckle escaped my intruder's lips.

"Jasper?"

I threw back the covers as my eyes locked onto the blonde floppy hair of my missing friend. He was sat in my rocking chair looking amused, but also tired.

"Where have you been?"

He ignored my question, which I didn't debate; I trusted there was a reason for this.

"It's been one week, and I wanted to be here for your decision"

My eyes widened as I remembered that this could be my last day as a human. I looked forward to being part of the Cullen's, the only place I'd ever felt I truly belonged. However I knew the next three days would be painful, at best. I grimaced at the scars which covered most of Jaspers body as he strode over to the window and he was bathed in the morning light.

"Do you want a ride?"

I peered through the branches of the tree outside my window onto the road below, and surely enough a black sports car sat there. I didn't look closer for a make or model, there was no point. I just nodded and smiled nervously at Jasper.

As we sped down the highway I was surprised how at ease Jasper was around me now, and how at ease he seemed to be with himself. After last September I'd expected our relationship would have been ruined by his guilt, though I didn't blame him at all. Her caught me staring at him but simply grinned back and said

"It's all good Bella"

I watched him more warily then, but there wasn't enough time to question him as we swerved expertly onto the smooth drive of my favourite house.

At the sound of the smooth purr of the engine our family had sped to the front window, knowing that the noise did not belong to my truck. I smiled at Esme's face, so full of joy as she took in her lost son. We barely made it over the threshold before they attacked him with a relay of hugs. Carlisle's voice was the first I heard.

"Where have you been?"

He wasn't angry but there was an undertone of disapproval in his voice, he wasn't pleased that he'd left Esme so distressed.

Esme stepped in front of him and placed her hands on his chest

"Leave it" she whispered softly

His eyes lingered on hers for a moment and he looked like he was going to argue, but he simply nodded his head, and then smiled at Jasper.

"It's ok, I know I shouldn't have left" Jasper sighed, Esme began to protest but Jasper cut across her and the room was suddenly very calm "but today is about Bella"

I could have punched him.

I knew he felt this as he burst into a fit of giggles.

"I'd be careful Jaz, she'll be able to take you soon" Emmett boomed from beside Carlisle. He too was indulging in my utter disregard for attention.

A much calmer voice broke the tension in the room then though. I was grateful, I didn't want to hit Jasper, knowing it would only hurt me, but the action was reflexive.

"You've made your choice then?" Carlisle asked gravely.

I nodded and gulped, everyone's eyes were on me, making my palms sweat. I smiled though, as I realised that could be a last.

"Very well" He pushed open the door to his left "We might as well get it over with"

Esme touched my arm as I passed her and Jasper gave her a stiff nod. Suddenly everything seemed very distant as I realised what I was doing, and I had to grab the doorframe to support myself as my decision threatened to crush me to the floor. I looked up to a pair of soft topaz eyes staring at me with apprehension

"Are you sure about this Bella?"

Pull yourself together Bella, I thought aggressively. You want this. And I wasn't lying. Even though I'd have to wait forever to see Edward again I couldn't bare living my forever as a human- weak, pathetic, and most of all imperfect. I loved the people around me, and I wanted to be the same species as my true love, just in case they were diverted to another place after this life finished. So I stood up straight and confidently strode over to the hospital bedded, lightly jumping onto it whilst ignoring Carlisle's question.

Then Carlisle transformed into the professional I knew he must be inside the walls of the hospital. Yes I had seen Carlisle in this act before, but it hadn't been him whom my attention had been focused on.

He nervously shuffled over to the door, which he slid a number of heavy locks across before saying

"I may have control of my thirst, but I can't speak for others"

I just nodded, that was acceptable, and after all I'd be worse in a few days- because I'd be a new born.

"I'd like to try something new when I change you Bella. As I'm sure you're aware it's a painful procedure, but I think I may have thought of a way around this"

No pain? That was impossible. I'd always thought the pain was a non-negotiable cost of becoming a vampire- immortal, beautiful, fast, strong. It had always seemed a fair exchange to me. A painless welcome to immortality reminded me of my last birthday. I hadn't wanted anything from Edward because it tipped us more out of balance. This too seemed to tip the balance. I wasn't going to deny this offer though, I'd felt enough pain for a lifetime.

"Morphine"

My new doctor stated simply.

"If given enough time it should be able to spread before the venom seals your veins. Then hopefully it'll do its job"

"And that's it, painless?"

"We'll have to see Bella; I said it was an experiment. Are you ready?"

I lay back on the bed and took a deep breath. This is it.

I saw the glint as the light caught the metallic needle and the sharp prick as it pierced my skin. Then everything was floaty, and blurred like I was half asleep, and I knew the morphine was doing its job. Then I could feel pressure on certain places on my body, and Carlisle moving, almost unseen around me. My pulse became very loud and the light in the room seemed to be slipping away. I tried to grab it but my arms were too heavy, and then it was gone.

**So Jasper's back, and we know why, but will Bella join him after she changes. And what will she be like afterwards. The stories finally getting somewhere so keep up with my updates. Trust me; you're going to want to keep reading. Keep reviewing, it spurs me on, even if it's just a hi. JessCullen95 x**


	10. Chapter 10

**When you're as young and poor as I am, you'll realise you don't own twilight =(**

**I thought that was a better chapter, though not many reviews once again. Lots of you are clicking favourite story though? If you thought that last chapter was some of my better work let me know.**

Chapter 10

Jasper POV

I was so excited I could barely contain myself. It had been 3 days and Bella would be awake soon, my new sister as her new self. I'd never have to worry about hurting her again; a factor which I convinced myself had caused the death of both my love and hers- because we'd never have moved away, and everything would have remained perfect.

Carlisle had come out of the room looking pleased, the smell of alcohol strong in the air, though indeed it was preferable to what it was masking. She was quiet, which none of us had expected, though Carlisle notified us that it was due to the morphine. He wanted me to check though, to see how she was feeling. My gift was useful in a situation like this, not as useful as Edward's mine reading had been, much more precise than my power, but nevertheless it did the job.

I was nervous as I crossed the threshold into the silent room. She was quite still and it frightened me, it was unnatural. I'd seen people change countless times during my southern days, and no-one had ever remained still as the venom coursed through their veins, changing everything they were. I took her hand and I had to admit it wasn't the hot burning I'd grown used to feeling around humans. She looked relaxed, except for the slight pucker between her eyebrows which would have seemed inconsequential to anyone who couldn't feel her emotions. Carlisle was wrong. The morphine wasn't stopping the pain of her transformation, that much was clear from the agony that saturated every feeling she radiated. I guessed it had simply trapped her in this pain, unable to scream for help under its heavy hold. I tried to sooth her but I knew that it wouldn't stop the pain, not if the morphine hadn't, so I just held her hand supportively for those three days.

The only inclination of when it would be over was through her heart. Carlisle could estimate how far along she was by her pulse. This wouldn't have been a problem if Alice had been here. I felt my features harden at these thoughts and my eyes tightened in agony. It seemed like the world didn't turn as smoothly without Alice on it. Surely enough though Bella's heart reached its top speed after about seventy hours after Carlisle left the room and within minutes stopped with a resounding thud. I got up and sped to the door to notify our family, who would surely want to greet our newcomer. I should have been stiff from sitting in the wooden chair for three days but my muscles were flexible, and I knew Bella's would be too.

We all waited in the room, me and Emmett in the front, in case she lost it. Newborns were slaves to their instincts, something we had all experienced and in turn pitied. But everyone was excited regardless, even Rose, and the atmosphere was buzzing. She was beautiful, anybody could see this. Her face much more smooth and angular now, her lips too were fuller, her hair more luscious and shiny. I knew that Alice would have made a fuss, probably forcing her to look in a mirror before she even had chance to hunt. She had always been frustrated with Bella's lack of self-confidence and unwillingness to take centre stage. She seemed confident now, her eyes wide as she took us in; she seemed calm though, her posture with only a slightly defensive edge to it. She came over to us slowly and stared each of us in the face in turn. I knew this all must be new to her, confusing as everything was the same, but so very different.

"Bella?"

She seemed to recognise my voice and I saw her expression soften, even as they lingered on the scars I knew she must see so much clearer with her new eyes.

"Jasper"

I was a confirmation, and it made me smile. She was so very different now, her voice high and tinny like ours. I had to admit that immortality seemed to suite her.

"Amazing isn't it?"

I was excited as I probed. She nodded slowly with a huge grin on her face, her eyes still flicking around the room.

"Everything is so different from how I remember it, as if I've been asleep for a long time and everything changed"

"Nope, just three days"

Carlisle interjected then, as I knew he would. He too was excited but there was an undeniable tone of curiosity and interest to his feelings.

"How were your three days Bella, did the morphine work?"

She looked very uncomfortable and I knew that had she been human she'd have blushed.

"At first there was nothing"

Then she winced, the tiny reaction magnified by her new smooth features.

"But then I was on fire"

Her voice was thick, even through its high pitched tingling

"But I couldn't scream, it was like something was holding me down. And everything was so very heavy- and hot"

She added with a shudder

"Well at least it worked for a while"

His tone was gloomy and his smile fake as he realised his experiment hadn't been a success, that our new addition had suffered the same excruciating experience as the rest of us. I knew how much he'd wanted to help Bella, but he had to realise there was just no helping the damned.

"How is your thirst Bella"

He added with eyebrows raised. Her hand shot up to her throat and her eyes were suddenly wild, as she searched the room for something to sooth the burn. I knew this feeling and the mere thought made my own throat burn with an ache of desire.

"I'll take you to hunt Bella"

Everyone from my family raised their eyebrows now; it didn't seem to bother her which pleased me.

"If you want"

I feebly added. I hoped she'd except because we had lots to discuss, including my proposition for her.

**How will Bella react do you think? Should she help him in his impossible mission and how will the rest of her immortality play out? Keep reading, and reviewing, to find out.**


	11. Chapter 11

**Disclaimer: I don't own twilight [Disclaimed]**

**I'll remind you guys again that this is NOT a Jasper/Bella FF, if you're wondering why Jasper was so excited in that last chapter then read chapter 8 again.**

Chapter 11

Jasper looked nervous as we approached the fringe of tree's surrounding the Cullen's house, my house. I could see every ray of light reflect off the leaves above, finding clear paths to shine through onto the minute gaps in the canopy onto ground below. I could see the darkness where the trees were thicker and denser, but I could also see beyond the darkness too. If I narrowed my eyes to a squint I could even see the faint light of where the forest ended near the main road. I could smell the scent of each tree as I flew past them; the smallest part of my brain assigned to the job of dodging them. Yes my speed was enhanced, but so was everything else, so this minute part of my consciousness easily handled its task. I could hear Jasper behind me, though it was not so much Jasper, but the noise he left behind that I heard. But the sound of the leaves he rustled with his movement stopped, and I realised he had too.

I didn't bother to ask why we were stood silently in the wood, instead allowing my curiosity to saturate my thoughts and tilted my head slightly to one side.

He looked awkward as he slowly opened his mouth, an expression I had never seen across the battle worn face of Jasper Whitlock. This worried me only slightly, but even this minute emotion was enhanced by my new mind and body, which instantly tensed into a rigid stance, hands balled.

He quickly looked apologetic

"O, don't worry" he begged

I let out a sigh of relief and my hands fell open to my sides.

"I'm sorry I haven't been here Bella"

He looked quite ashamed now as he spoke.

"Don't worry Jasper"

I came closer to him, hoping he'd understand me

"I understand how hard this is for you"

His face stiffened, and it reminded me of the many times I'd frustrated Edward with my 'obscure way of thinking'

"Only as hard as it's been for you, Bella. I lost nothing more or less than you, a lover and a sibling. Yet you did not run away, you were brave, braver than me"

He was right statistically, our losses had been identical, but I knew that everyone coped differently. And I was already master of pretending nothing was wrong.

"I'll never move on you know"

The way he spoke seemed more like Jasper was talking to himself, but his eyes continued to bore into mine.

"I'll never forgive them, or myself"

I thought I understood what he was saying. Jasper blamed me, but he didn't want to just say it.

"I'm sorry Jasper, but there really isn't anything we can do now"

"So you're saying they should get away with Edward and Alice's murder?"

His voice panged a loud note of pain on Alice's name

"No that's not what I'm saying at all Jasper, but we are just two people. We can do nothing against the Volturi, regardless of whether justice is on our side"

I saw his lips curve, light bouncing off his pearly whites. Maybe I'd been wrong about his motive for bringing me here.

"What if we could avenge them, if those fake knights were knocked from their steeds?"

My eyes narrowed

"An army of new born vampires, led by us"

My eyes that had been light, constricted were now snapped open in shocked disbelief.

Jasper could feel the horror of my thoughts and quickly protested.

"You are extremely powerful Bella, I'd bet even more than you realise"

This caught my attention and Jasper used my momentary distraction

"I'd bet you could project your mental shield to protect others Bella"

Hadn't this been just what I'd always desired, to protect others?

"Protect others?"

He nodded quickly

"Hundreds maybe, with the right training"

I had to admit this would help against the Volturi. From all I had heard their abilities seemed to be their best offence. Jane and Alec in particular, but I could cripple Jane, of that I was sure, would I be as lucky with Alec?

"My ability alone wouldn't win us the battle though"

Jasper seemed relieved at my acceptance of his idea, even if I was sceptical.

"This is why we bring the new borns. I have experience in this field Bella, I can train them to be deadly weapons, and we can defeat those who crushed our loved ones so unjustly"

I didn't reply, this seemed way too easy. How could we defeat the vampiric royalty who had defended their place for thousands of years?

"I plan to avenge them with or without you Bella. Indeed without you is a suicide mission, but one which I will indefinitely partake in. I plan to honour Alice and Edward, do you?"

My eyes, red and dangerous held onto the liquid topaz of his. The two smouldered endlessly as the light danced across them. His were pleading, begging me to risk my life for the ones we loved. This didn't seem such a big ask really.

I bit my lip and nodded, I would honour them too.

**Well? Let me know your opinion etc etc PRETTY PLEASE. I know this one took an age but I keep forgetting, remind me with your lovely reviews.**


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